As I wrote the title for today’s entry I was considering discussing the topic that lies behind the title of this blog, that is, the internal, personal struggles that women who choose to stay home raising children face around the idea of “value”. It occurred to me that this is also an apt title for the work that stay-at-home mom’s do, so it serves this posting on two levels.
I actually don’t want to launch into a lengthy apology about why its valuable for women to raise their own kids, nor do I want to condemn our culture for the fact that stay-at-home mom’s often feel that the work they do is under-appreciated because they don’t bring home a paycheck. Those arguments and discussions are for another writer. My own experience is no different, except, as a friend of mine laughingly informed me today, I have gone to greater lengths than most to “prove” my worth. I think the most unfortunate part of this whole issue is that not only do many women struggle with the value of the work they do – which is not confined to hours or days, or validated monetarily – but the spillover from their perceived lack of value about the work they do affects their self esteem. While I write this in the third person, I am no stranger to this experience. In fact, this blog is in some ways an effort to exorcise those demons once and for all. I won’t regale you with a list of all of my personal achievements, accomplishments, education or other stories, because ultimately none of those matter if I need them to be comfortable in my own skin. I hope to speak to a more universal experience by talking about my personal experience with this struggle. In part, this blog is intended to call my awareness to the places and moments when I am focused on doing rather than being. When its all said and done, maybe I’ll finally be capable, as my 16 year old son says, of “deep chillin”, that is resting comfortably, in friendship with myself, just “being”.
So now we’ve got that out on the table… I think I’ll save other topics for other days and go eat. It seems that details like food and sleep have been shorted a little this week as I’ve learned the ins and outs of WordPress.
Today’s photographs, and yes, there are two, were taken as the 7th graders (including mine) were about to set off on the first Friday evening ski bus of the winter. The parents all converge on the school delivering food, clothes and gear.
I’ll be headed back to retrieve her in an hour or so.